As we have been “safer at home” for 5 weeks now, I am starting to become more aware of myself. As crazy as that sounds, I have been able to successfully hide from myself for at least 20 years now. Let me try to explain..

In my teen years, I was overly confident. I grew up as a dancer and performer and I was constantly on stage. If I wasn’t in school, I was in the dance studio, or on the marching band field front and center. My college years were similar, performing at least twice per year. Dance and performing was my backbone, my rock, and my creative outlet. It was who I was.

Then, life started happening, and everything about that overly confident performer fell apart. Between deaths in the family, business losses, miscarriages and a string of bad career choices, I absolutely lost sight of who I was. Somehow, I went from someone who could be on stage wearing only a leotard and tights to someone who had no voice, who couldn’t state an opinion, who couldn’t argue and who didn’t want to be seen. I wanted to be invisible.

While I am still that person who doesn’t want to argue, I am also coming to realize that this is not entirely who I want to be. I want to be confident enough to tell people no. I want to be able to state my opinion without fear of an argument. I want to be a good example of a strong woman to my spunky little girl.

Yes, I am a work in progress. I’ll be the first to admit that! Each day I am trying something new to find my voice and gain a little (mental) strength. I am always searching for how to be true to my passion, to be more like that confident teenage girl and to not alienate my family! Ha ha! It is a delicate balance, that continues to change the more I push myself. I will be better, more secure, more passionate, and a better human being. Darn it! 🙂